Why I Don't Have a Child Yet

Charles Dumaraos, 2009

Why don't I have a child yet?

I'm 25 years old

and I still don't have those little bundles of joy

40% of my old classmates have at least one

braggig their moments, stories, and pictures

while I have none

My mother has been going crazy on me

Pressuring me to get her a grandchild

But all I can do is smile and try to ignore her

because right at this moment, i'm thinking-

this idea is wild!

Sure, babies are cute

Until you wake up 2 in the morning

and clean up their poop

Crying tirelessly like there's no tomorrow

By the end of the night, you wish there's

Somebody's time you can borrow

Then on Saturday and Friday nights

You can't go away

To party, get drunk, have fun and play

Because of your little darling who

Can't feed itself and will probably pee itself

you need to stay

And now you wish you had a condom when you got laid

after 3 or 4 years, somehow, you get past that

by now, you're praying this child won't turn into a brat

because this toddler will ask for everything

from barbie dolls to spiderman action figures

all harry potter books and stephenie meyer releases

an annual party and inflated allowance daily

and everything they don't have

that their classmates do maybe

such a pain in the rear, these children are

when you travel by commute

or even when you have a car

it's like two pet mice

got out of their cage

and you're trying to put em back on the leash

to shut down the chaos and rage

when they grow up tp be adolescents

full of angst and rebelious thinking

reminds you of yourself, when you were a teen

but probably a lot mellower or maybe the other way

you also won't know what they're up to

despite the internet superhighway

thinkin bout drugs and sex and crume and such

they might end up using a crutch

and that's not all, it's not all

if somehow you keep them off these bad things

you still need to worry about the direction and path they'll take in life

what are they good at?

what could they be?

where could they enlist?

be a doctor, a teacher or a scientis?

or maybe the worst profession of all,

become a non-profiting kind of artist

and your job as a parent doesn't really end after they graduate

or when they have a career of finiding guys, for a fee, to felate

you need to keep supporting them

and teaching them

until the day you die

cause you want to make sure on your funeral

somebody will at least cry

anyway, you probably think i'm selfish

a pessismist and my reasons are all absurd

i just don't like the idea of bringing an infant into this world

a world of pollution, corruptness

and war and hatred

a world where crume is happening

right in our basements?

a world without cory, jacko or freshly squeezed lemonade

a world of peer pressure, hipocrisy, and electrolit powerade

so right now, i'd rather live by myself and die alone

without anybody to see whenever i go home

but at least i'm doing the world a favor

and i hope that everybody realizes and see

that i didn't have a child because i don't another one of me